I just had an experience that caused a lot of emotions for me, a lot of negative emotions but it showed me something more wonderful than I could have imagined.
I signed up for a free coaching call. I am part of a few Facebook groups that post threads on what others offer. Well in this thread I found someone who talked about your worth, charging the right amount for clients and such.
Well I signed up, I have battled my own pricing and what my value is. I realized what I was missing but that is for another post.
So as I was signing up for the call the dreaded question came up, “Are you willing to invest in yourself?”. Now for me I have been asked this question before and each time it leads to another sales funnel. Not always, but in my experience first you get the free "breakthrough" call, then you get the invest in yourself or you will be stuck, with a fancy discount.
I answered the question NO because I am willing to invest in myself but not to someone I do not know. In this exact instance I was also asked for a dollar amount.
Now I am not saying that this funnel and this style of attaining clients doesn't work. It works for a lot of people and I don't find fault in any of them for using a tried and true method but I realized that this method is not what I want for my own business.
This person tried to make me feel like I wasn't worth their time because I wasn't willing to invest. We all have excuses and reasons as to why we can't or won't invest. Those are valid and are things we must work on. We also don't want to waste other people's time just because we want something free. My time is valuable, what I provide to you is valuable. But I offer free value in other ways such as my podcast, blog, discounts, learning resources and of course clarity sessions.
This person also tried to make me feel like I was scared. This is a common tactic. We all use it in one form or another. But fear is an ideal that is put into place to stop us from doing amazing things. I do not fear investing in myself or investing in others but I will not put my investment into someone who tells me that I am not investing in myself because I will not invest in them. If you chose to work with me you are investing in your future as well as in me being able to help you. We all must be paid for the value we provide, whether it is in our business, our full/part time job, love from other people for providing valuable love to them (partners, children, friends, family).
I do not expect anyone to work with me for any other reason than they find value in what I provide to them and they are called to work with me. There will be people who will not want to work with me because they don't agree with me, they may not like my beliefs or values, they may not like my teaching. I totally respect that.
I will not go into any other issues I had with this person because regardless of how they treated me, tried to make me feel or spoke to me I honestly do wish them well. They will find their ideal clients in their own way.
I am writing this post to caution you all that no matter who you are or what you are looking for, trust your intuition. Trust that the type of coach, mentor, friend, partner, teacher, guide, guru or reader you are looking for is also out there looking for you. You may find ones that are only put onto your path to teach you what you aren't looking for. The people you are truly looking for will resonate with you, they will teach you and they will make you feel amazing, even if they have to be firm and tell it to you like it is. Just know that you do not have to feel like you are settling if there is a discount, special offer or giveaway. You ALL matter.
My last word of caution. Do not get caught up in the free aspect. You are always welcome to find free value in whatever you are looking for but she was right about one thing. We all do need to invest in ourselves. Find the person you want to help you and then invest in not only yourself but in them as well. We all want to be great, we all want to live our lives free from the negativity that haunts us. It's up to us to make the time, finances and effort to get it done. I have spent many thousands on myself. Each time I spend money it shows me something else that I need to work on in either my business, my self or my path, or it taught me a lesson in what I don't want or who I don't want to be.
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